Decided to sail the seven seas to rewatch Heart Eyes, as I won’t give Spyglass any money under its current ownership. With that said, I love valentines horror, and think I liked the film more on my 2nd watch! 

My biggest issue with Heart Eyes is it tries to be a parody of hallmark rom-coms (with a slasher story), but often plays it so straight (especially in the first act) that the dialogue comes off as painfully contrived and cringey. But I do think that’s the point, with lots of common tropes we see in these kind of movies jam packed into the script. It certainly lands at times and is funny, but others feel just unbearably forced. I know it wants to function as a parody of these films but struggles to communicate that at times. 

The film is very of this era with its commentary on dating and society. Lots of “Cancelled”’s or “Triggered”s that comes across as millennial attempt to capture the essence of Gen Z culture, but coming across as caricature. It makes the film feel dated in a disappointing way. It’s similar to how the dialogue in IKWYDLS (2025) made me feel. But then again, many of us love the ways 80s-2000’s horror feels ‘dated’ or distinguishable. So who knows, maybe i’ll love the nostalgia these films bring for the 2020’s when rewatching them in a few decades? 

The stand out of the movie is in the performance between Mason and Olivia. They’re both so charming and have insanely good chemistry. They deliver the films more heartfelt and comedic moments very well.

The Heart Eyes Killer design is super cool, and remains fresh while also referencing horror icons. I love the heart arrows and knives. The aesthetic is really nice. I loved the homage to Silence of the Lambs with the glowing red eyes being used as night vision goggles. 

Heart Eyes really succeeds in the slasher elementals. it has a bunch of fun set pieces and drawn out chase sequences. The long chase from the apartment to carousel is probably my favorite of the film. The police station and of course the drive-in theater are super iconic. You can tell it was co-written by Landon because he really understands what modern audiences want to see in a slasher. 

The kills are also a lot better than I remembered! I think on my first watch I was disappointed they gave away the best kill in the first trailer with the tire iron kill. I stand by that still being my favorite in terms of originality and execution, but I also really loved the opening sequence as well as the 2nd killers decapitation death. That slow decapitation against the St. Valentine statue was gross as hell! 

The killer reveal is a mixed bag for me as I do think the reveal of “random guy with 10 seconds of dialogue” is kind of an odd choice, but it’s balanced out by Detective Shaw’s reveal as the second killer even if it was kind of obvious. I love women killers and my girl was giving me serious Jill Roberts here! Her performance definitely increased my enjoyment of what was kind of an odd reveal. But hey! The motive of just being horny sickos was kinda fun and the whole monologue felt very Scream inspired. 

The best scene is 100% when Olivia moves to the closet trying to hide her rabbit and it reveals Heart Eyes hiding inside. It’s genuinely unexpected and also super funny. It shifts the movie out of its rom com focus super abruptly  and is really when the movie picks up for me.  

A fun and original recent holiday slasher with great lead performances from Mason and Olivia. However I can’t say I love it as my feelings surrounding Spyglass does diminish it and stop me from wanting to support it directly. 
3/5